Leave it to the Professionals!

I’ve never claimed to be a writer, although I do sometimes love to get my thoughts on paper. The other day Bob and I were on our way to work, and as we approached E’town, we could see and smell the smoke from the wildfires that took place in Fort Knox and Sonora. It was an eerie feeling as we drove through the smoke, so I wanted to try to capture it in writing. Well, I wrote my short descriptive story about our drive to work that morning, and I asked Andrew to take a look at it and let me know what he thought. Here’s my story:

"A pungent odor filled the air as we made our way down the WK Parkway this morning. A caliginous sky left us questioning the events of the previous evening. An old combine, with not enough grease on its bearings, had sparked a field of soy beans. What started as a small, containable fire rapidly grew into the area’s worst wild fire. Burning out of control, consuming acres and acres of soy bean field, the fire quickly approached the small community, threatening the homes and barns standing in its path. The quick response of the fire department, combined with the Forestry Department’s knowledge, and the local farmer’s tractors, brought the fire in control within hours. Throughout the night the fire was watched, with nervous hearts, to assure the wind didn’t stir the still burning embers.


This morning, making our way to work, we were witness to the remnants of the devastation. The air, thick with smoke, lingered throughout the town, creating an intense fog for the morning commute. The smell, lingering in the air, thick and heavy, bringing back childhood memories of our wood burning stove, was embedded deep in our nostrils."

I guess I should have known that a professional writer would rip it to shreds. LOL! Good thing I’m not sensitive to constructive criticism. Andrew replied with the following:

“Well, it needs a middle and an end. A story, for the most part, is about character, and what you have here, is a premise for a story. I need to see character(s) and what they learn, going back to the memory of a woodburning stove is good--but more specific, what does a wood-burning stove smell like to you--and I want to see more and more of this happening. And, on that note, leave out the Fire Dept, the Forest Dept. that its the area's biggest fire. That's exposition. Again, bring it back to characters. Or, make what you have much more concise, and create a metaphor for this fire and your memory, and really elaborate the images that are brought up, but conclude on something punchy...this could be a comment on something going up in smoke, an old flame, whatever, but it could be great. (The note about the combine is very beautiful :) )”

After giving me this tidbit of information, he went on to write how he thought I should have written the story. Here’s his version:

“The road was black as pitch for the furrows of smoke and ash like fat flakes of snow. In the distance, the waves of fire crop licked the sky, and the black clouds rolled up like burning wallpaper. There was a smell in my nostrils, one of kindling, an old wood-burning stove on a brick hearth in Winter. My eyes watered then as they do now, my second marriage the heavy cherry log that melts, melds with the soot. The soybean field smolders now, waiting for fairer weather to be burnt out.”

Talk about pencil envy! After reading his version, my sad little story didn’t seem fit, even for a children’s book. Also, do you know how long it would have taken me to come up with something like that! Not in my lifetime! LOL! Of course, I was only writing a short description of what we experienced, but Andrew, in his response, wanted me to make it into a story. There’s just not enough time in the world for me to come up with something like that…. I guess that’s where the saying “Leave it to the professionals” comes into play.

I’m very proud of Andrew, and truly welcome his input on my inadequate writing skills. I hope to see him published in the near future.

TTFN!

What to do, what to do???

Now that we have doctor’s visits out of our schedules, life seems pretty calm. No appointments, not nearly as much worry, what do we do with ourselves? It feels like I have so much free time on my hands. Final diagnosis for Mya: None. We are in the wait and see if it happens again mode. Hopefully she never has another episode. I’m still left with the question of “If it happens again, then what?” I guess we’ll see.

Andrew and James will close on their house this week. I couldn’t be more excited for them! Andrew has plans drawn up of what he wants to do to the house as far as some small remodeling, and tons of decorating. I can’t wait to see the finished product! Of course, it will take place over time, and not happen over night. I know that disappoints Andrew. I think he gets his impatience from his Mum. LOL!

Bob and I are planning a Halloween party for the immediate family. Halloween is one of our favorite times of the year. The scarier we can get the house, the better! Of course, since we will have smaller kids at the party, we will keep the tricks as mild as possible. Don’t want to send anyone home with a permanent fear of the dark! LOL! I’ve got several games planned, as well as “hayride style” trick or treating through our neighborhood. I think the kids will have a great time!

There’s a lot of turmoil and chaos going on in the family right now. I have a feeling it’s going to make for a very awkward Christmas gathering. I hate it for Mom, and really wish everyone would come to their senses, but I don’t see it happening any time soon. Maybe, one day, people will grow up and realize the world doesn’t revolve around them alone. Sorry, I just had to get that out there, in case the right people are reading my blog. GROW UP AND GET OVER YOURSELF!

Work has been crazy busy this year. Based on our business you would never think we were in a recession. I hope it continues to boom through 2011 and beyond.

I’ve been thinking about a hobby, but can’t really decide what I would like to do that doesn’t require a huge investment. I used to love to scrapbook, but I just can’t seem to get in the right mind set to get started back on that road. I’ve tried the cooking thing, and that just wasn’t my cup of tea. I’ve been reading a lot lately, but I don’t really consider that a hobby, it’s more of my relaxation time. I’m looking for something to occupy my mind and hands. I’ve considered photography, and even have a make shift studio set up in the basement, but I can’t afford to get all the great pictures developed. LOL! I think it’s because I want a copy of all of them, and multiple copies to share. Although I love having a digital camera and the ability to sort out the crap, I don’t like the idea of not having a picture in my hand. I need to sort, look, rotate, and study my pictures to see which ones really capture what I see in the lens. I can’t do that with a digital without tons of development costs. There’s a wide variety of editing software out there, but like scrapbooking, I just can’t seem to get my mind focused on learning all the “tricks”. We have an editing program on our computer, but so far I’ve experienced some unwanted cropping when transferring my final masterpiece to a photo developing website, so I never use it. I can’t figure out why the software is cropping a huge portion of pictures during the transition. Maybe I need “Photo Editing for Dummies”! LOL!

TTFN!