It Scares Me

It scares me to think, in a short couple of years, Mya will want to shave her legs.  Can I trust her with a razor, alone, in the bathtub?

 It scares me to think, Mya isn’t old enough to know how to really hurt herself, but will there be a bully in a few years that teaches her ways to hurt herself beyond repair?

 It scares me to think, when Mya goes to middles school, and high school, there will be mean kids that try to bring her self-esteem even lower. 

 It scares me to think, will she ever find a friend who is good to her, and helps her?  Or, will she always be drawn toward the kid who hurts her, because she thinks it’s okay, because they like her, and want to play with her?

 It scares me to think, if she’s at school, or anywhere, and gets hurt, she won’t say anything.  She won’t cry out, she won’t ask for help.

 I have so many fears of what her future holds. 

 I know she’s smart, but she’s also naïve. 

 I know she’s guarded, but she’s also overly trusting.

 It scares me to think how she must feel at school each day, completely out of her comfort zone.  I see what she does to herself while she’s at school.

 
Right now, I’m at a place where I no longer know what to do.  Medication doesn’t seem to be helping.  Therapy doesn’t seem to be helping.  The school says she’s fine.  I know she’s not.

Where do you go from here?

 

 

Every. Single. Day.

 

This is our new norm

 

Homework is always stressful

 

One place is barely healed and new place begins